This Infernal Ground
by jimmy whispers
Summary: A Bellarke piece. Clarke is tired and the weight of responsibility is crushing her along with feelings of hopelessness. Bellamy finds her to comfort her. No spoilers, although it does take place halfway through the series.


This Infernal Ground

Bellarke

By Jimmy Whispers

Clarke sat in the dirt and stared at hands she didn't recognize. While they were hers, at the moment, they seemed more weathered, less steady and significantly smaller. It was dark outside the ark and the rain drizzled from invisible clouds. Units of wet fell upon everything: the grass, the trees just beyond the sinister electric fence, down Clarke's neck and to the ground. This infernal ground. It was constantly being soaked; by the rain, by the blood of her people, by the blood of her friends and by so many tears shed over them.

She stood, looked up at the sky and for the first time, the heavens didn't look so far away. How could she take responsibility? The realization came; that the Earth would always be soaked with the blood of humanity as long as there are humans on it. It began to swallow her. As a fighter, Clarke's initial reaction to drowning was to fight. But despite her holding her breath until her chest hurt, she was sinking. She didn't even notice that someone had come up behind her until she heard his voice.

"Clarke."

She was surprised, because she knew that Bellamy Blake had every reason to never talk to her again, but what she didn't know was that behind those strong features and sensitive eyes was every reason to talk to her now.

She didn't turn and she said nothing. He stepped closer until she could feel the heat from his dry clothes send chills up her spine with the temperature change. The two extremes made her shudder. Her faced flushed a little and she rolled her eyes. Obviously, he had known just where to find her or else the rain would have stained him like it had been her for the past hour now; however, she was grateful for his warmth because it made choking back sobs easier.

Bellamy's ambition made him shake, but his breath was steady. It was easy to see that Clarke needed someone and he was determined to be that person. Someone had to tell her. And no one was better suited than Bellamy, because no one else on the ground, in the mountains or who has ever seen the sky, felt as much tenderness as he did for her in this moment.

"Clarke," he said again, this time with soft understanding. He reached his left hand with strong fingers and firmly held her cold right. However cold, it was familiar to him. "Not even you can take on the world alone."

Clarke's heart rose to the center of her throat. She turned and met his eyes. Those comforting brown eyes stripped her defense completely and it made her angry.

" _Dammit, Bellamy! I know!"_ she thought " _But I can't let anyone else get hurt."_

She knew hurt was inevitable and that recognition was the rock that weighed her down. Her knees gave way and she sank to the dirt.

This made Bellamy catch his breath and he dived to her level on his knees and held her. She buried her face in his chest and the sobs of the weight of three nations shook her and in turn shook him.

The rain started to thicken and the pace between drops became quick. But it's frigid nature wouldn't mix with Clarke's burning, stinging tears and she clung to him. Her sobs became heavier. The rain fell heavier. And with every second, so did Bellamy's heart.

Enough. Both of them were about to burst. He took Clarke's face in his hands, but she couldn't look at him. She clutched his wrists with her shaking fingers in desperation and the sobs continued to wreck her. He wiped tears away with his thumbs, then with his whole hand. It wasn't enough.

"Clarke, listen," he said. She was incapable.

Bellamy knew. Watching out for her wasn't enough. Being there wasn't enough. He steadied the nape of her neck with one hand and with the other pulled her close to his body. With a deep breath in, he kissed her. Deeply, warding off the discomfort that made her feel vulnerability by taking it.

He kissed the sobs from her mouth, first. Then the hot tears from her cheeks and the rain from her nose and forehead. Then back to her mouth until she was breathing again. And until she kissed him back.

Clarke wrapped her arms around him. She was able to pick herself off the ground again. Just to be apart of Bellamy. But a fear still stalked about in her mind.

" _Just how much do I care before I lose you, too?"_


End file.
